Randomness No.1

What is this??..I said I wasnt gonna do this anymore but I cant help it. I love men and I cant deny it...maybe it's a issue or maybe it's a healthy addiction but whatever it is I never want it to stop. Despite all the bullshit I've been through with these no good fools, theres always a man somewhere...a REAL MAN!!! I've been in situations where I've been broken down to nothing. I just didnt care anymore. I stopped dressing up, doing my hair, keeping my nails done, EVERYTHING!! All of that just because of some low-down punkass little boy when I know I'm worth more. When I know I was raised to be more than just someones foot stool. This right here is for all the REAL MEN that know how to do those things to make us women feel like the greatest creations walking the earth...THANK YOU!! To all the daddies taking care of your responsibilities, the businessmen working hard everyday, the grandfathers that know just what to say or do to encourage us. The brothers that fight for us and make us laugh, the best friends that love us unconditionally, the husbands that play multiple roles in raising our children and taking care of us mind, body, and spirit...there are no words to express my graditude to all of you and the ones I failed to mention but you know my heart.

Okay I have a few men that im absolutely head over heels for...to protect them I'm not gonna call no names but you know exactly who you are...

My Heart: I miss you so much and there will NEVER be another man like you. Everyday I look in the mirror at myself and I see you staring right back at me. It's okay that you arent here physically b/c honestly you never left me. You instilled so much wisdom in me and reminded me how beautiful I really am. I know that you are proud of me regardless of what I do. I need you to know that you were the thread holding us all together and because of you we're still holding on. Dont worry bout your girls...I understand that I'm here to be their strength and they are mine too. I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!

My Star: How did I ever let you get away from me...glad we've found our way back home. Everyday we spent apart was like an eternity. I love you as a man and as my friend just wish you would've fought a little harder with me and not pushed me in another direction. Theres something about you that drives me absolutely insane...you bring out the best, the worst, and the freak in me LOL. Who would've thought I would ever feel this way...when the first time we met I couldnt stand you. But through it all you were a constant thought. Maybe theres a purpose for you being in my life...all that I know is that I never want it to end. I need you to understand that theres something inside of you the world has yet to see and you're worried bout the wrong thang. What are you stressing for when everything you need has already been provided for. Let others see what I see in you...

My Love: Where do I begin....You have been there when nobody else was and I thank you for that. Even though we both know theres more to our story the timing just aint right but time waits for nothing so maybe we're right where we need to be. You mean the world to me...but you already know that babez. I've watched you grow up from a lil boy with big hair to a grown-ass man. I need you to understand that you work too hard. Our whole lives we've talked about our plans and you always said that you wanna provide for all of us but what you failed to realize is that you already did that. It doesnt matter what time of day it is or where you are...the whole damn world stops just for me. I am so blessed to have you in my corner b/c you always treated me like the queen that I am. You simply are DAT MAN!! LOL

My Funny Bone: Wow...thats all I can say. Its downright scary at times how much we have in common. You're not a tripp...you're a vacation. We dont have history behind us but theres a story waiting to be written. I just want you to understand that theres more to me than meets the eye and I hope you can handle it. I've been hurt before and I refuse to go back there ever again...my question to you is...could you be that someone to mend my heart. True, you make me smile...just keep doing it. You spark something in me that is like a breeze off the water at my favorite thinking spot. I remember why I am and who I am and I thank you :)

Okay ya'll I just had to get that off my chest... let me go feed my face. Be easy and be blessed.

Maybe I'm Crazy...

This is my first blog so plz be nice. i woke up the other day with this notion to create a blog...why? honestly i have no clue...maybe im crazy...

well maybe this will help me explore my thoughts and feelings about certain things ppl dont know about me. im a fairly private person so this is SO outside my character...lol. just bear with me...and all my typos, dry humor, and profanity (i try to be a lady but sometimes how i feel just takes me there). a little bit about me:

im currently in my 25th year of breathing on this earth. im currently unemployed but desperately looking to fill these voids with something fulfilling to do with my life. back at home with my family due to a string of unexpected and tragic events...im happy things played out the way they did. im a fun-loving, family-oriented southern hummingbird reigning from miami, fl. so far i sound like a broke-ass young woman full of problems and issues but thats so far from the truth...or should i say how i feel about my situations lol.

**gimmie a minute...let me put these chicken wings in the oven**

okay im back..where was i? okay i feel like this, im a victim of my own stupidity lol. i keep running from one place to another but im not too sure what im running from. There i said it!!! i want so much to be  successful, financially stable, and be in love with someone that truly appreciates me but i make one bad decision after another. even though this maybe the case i still find a way to keep moving forward and try to use my mistakes and short-comings as learning experiences. i have so much to offer the world and so many things i could be doing to improve my situations im just at a standstill right now. ive been through a lot and maybe i've allowed these things to cripple me...or maybe im crazy lol. i have to find humor in the things that are meant to hurt me or piss me off. i hoping that in writing this blog theres somebody out there that finds me to be an inspiration or can emphantize with me. someone that understands how i feel. also i hope that with each entry i produce theres healing for me and others. i hope to be a voice for someone unable to speak out for themselves. to be the person to bring insight into situations we might not understand.  hope you'll enjoy...